For quite some time now, I've had a sneaking suspicion that Mummy may be cheating on me. You know little looks at other babies in the supermarket, lingering cuddles with my friends from Mum's group. Now I have proof!
The other day, Mummy bundled me in the car as if we were going to daycare, but instead of going to see the one remaining Manda, Renee, Louise and all my posse at my daycare, we went to hers! We walked into the room that Mummy works in and suddenly she was swamped by babies just a little bit older than me and the kids my age just sort of sat there giving her filthy looks.
This I feel is tantamount to betrayal. I mean how would the dowdy wife in a Jackie Collins 'novel' react when confronted with the jiggly buxom 20 year old competitor? (Actually, I know the answer to this - she would have heaps of plastic surgery then shag the pants off the plastic surgeon.)Never fear, I've been paying Mummy back for her infidelity by waking up every hour three nights in a row .....
Payback is a bitch!
3 comments:
Oh Walter, she didn't did she. Hmmm, we should have suspected your Mummy was too good at cuddling us all at Mothers Group to be a real first time "Mum" - she had to have had practice, if only we had thought about it for more than 2 seconds instead of enjoying the cuddle - she had that natural way with us, knew what we were thinking... oh, I feel for you Walt, where will it end! Love Eleanor xo
PS I am waging my own war with my parents by clinging desparately to them at all times I am not left at that place that cannot be named. Christopher Robin's Garden my arse - I haven't seen a Pooh Bear anywhere!!
Hey cousin Walter! Long time no chat, but as you will hear I have been very busy with my latest lot of warfare tactics against parents! I have been deploying the waking- up- when- it- is -still- dark- and- crying- my- lungs- out- then- refusing- to- go- back- to- sleep tactic.For the last two weeks I have been working on the 5.45 am schedule, but this morning out did myself by waking at 5.30.Even the normally cool headed dad of mine was running out of patience!He he! I have also cut down my day nap. They are lucky if I go 45 minutes these days! Mum says she needs more "me" time. I take that to mean she needs more of ME time!
I am also worried about my mother and her possible cheating. Her tummy is getting very big and round and there's lots of talk of a "bubba" being in there? Hmmm, very worrying indeed!
hey there liitle cous I really feel for you that your mummy has been cheating on you and what a terrible way to find out!!! Not very nice at all! I am a bit confused though I want to know what you mean when you wrote that the lady would shag the pants off the plastic surgeon? I asked my mummy and she said that I am too young to know and that I am not to repeat that word until I am her age. And thats a long time away! So can you please tell me?
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