Friday, December 29, 2006

Cousins, cousins everywhere!

Emma, thats my guitar!




Now if we can just work out that Ozzy Osbourne rif, both of our daddys will be so proud.

And We're Off!!!


The Wonderful World of Walter will be quiet again for a few days because we're going up to Grandma and Pop's house for their 50th wedding anniversary. All of Daddy's nine brothers and sisters and 25 cousins and various hangers on will be converging on Grandma's backyard to celebrate. Auntie Grub and cousin Emma are here, having flown down yesterday from Brisvegas and we'll all head off later.

So see you next week!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thats it....I need an eating disorder!

On our recent trip to Nanna and Claudie's house, all of Mummy's family were calling me fat.... yes, you heard me, fat.

Sooooo not impressed - like any of them can talk! So I may be sporting a few chubby rolls here and there (particularly in that delicious area Daddy calls my 'knee fat') and certainly I'd fare better in times of famine than Cousin Claudia of the ice cream eating fame. But to say that I'm fat is just teasing me up!

As I've stated before Mummy and Daddy wont share any of the good stuff with me, so I've been forced to eat fruit, vegies, lean meat and wholegrain cereal my whole life (despite Mummy's jokes about pureeing my McDonalds for me and Auntie Becca's response that she gives it to Cousin Clancy still in the wrapper so she at least gets a cardio vascular workout trying to get it open!)

So I did a little research, and this my friends, is a genuinely fat baby....

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

My first Christmas.

Ahhhhh, home sweet home! We made the trek down to Nanna and Claudie's and made it back in one piece (just.....Daddy was severely traumatised by the amount of traffic on the Hume Highway on Saturday the 23rd and spent the whole drive and the following 24 hours shaking like our old washing machine.) It was great to see all the aunties, uncles and cousins and to bask in the sugary goodness that is Mummy's family.
On Christmas Eve we went out to Uncle Denis and Auntie Becca's farm for dinner. Clancy has the most rocking sandpit in the whole wide world and all the cousins and I put it to good use. We also played with the chooks and patted the horse. They have just renovated the old house and it now looks like something out of all those Lifestyle channel renovation shows Mummy watches with an addictive fervour.
Christmas Day dawned, bright and cold (not quite snowing..... quite). I went to mass with Mummy while Daddy stayed home for some 'quiet time'. Once all the Tomlinson cousins were assembled (Sarah, Tori, Claudia and Clancy - Grace, Harry, Frances and Lil came over later.... okay, most of the cousins and where were Megan and Jess?) we got to play with all the wrapping paper, sorry unwrap the presents. The grown ups got to eat lots of lovely food and drink lots of lovely drinks...and all I got was healthy vegies and water! So not fair, especially when Claudia and Clancy got to eat ice cream and lollies. Damn those parents of mine and their nutritious ideals. I also have to say a big thank you to Auntie Kathryn, who shared a room with me at Nanna's house and got up to feed me at the crack of dawn, gently encouraged me to go back to sleep after my bottle and then got up to play when it became obvious that I just wasn't going to go back to sleep. I missed you this morning Auntie Kathryn.....did you miss me?
And to Frannie, for the skillful delivery of crawling lessons......I can get up onto my knees and rock back and forth now!

So, to Nanna and Claudie and all the Tomlinson family, thanks for a great Christmas,Love Wal.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas and to all a good night.



To my dear friends and ardent admirers,
I would just like to take this opportunity to wish all and sundry a Merry Christmas. The presents are wrapped, Santa's lap has been sat upon, lists have been made and checked not once, but twice and Auntie Kathryn has a firm rein on the catering arrangements (if there is one thing Mummy's family do well, its catering arrangements!)We're heading down to Nanna and Claudie's house for Christmas to see the cousins, torment the dogs and to let Nanna slip me some pavlova and trifle when nobodies looking.
To everyone who has made my nine months on this earth memorable, thank you.
Love Walter.

P.S. Santa, you can find me at Nanna's house....O.K?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

As seen in this Saturday's Canberra Times:

CHANCELLOR (Ebner) Rod and Fiona are thrilled to announce the swift arrival of Walter David born 24.11.2006 at CJJMH.ANNOUNCEMENTS : BIRTH NOTICES16/12/2006

Right...... That kid is going down! How dare he steal my name!

Let Festivus Commence!


Yesterday we had our Mum's group Christmas party, where we all met each others daddies, played balloon volley ball and got a special early present from that fat, bearded dude, Santa.


Ow!.....It's all spiky.

This is Eleanor, she can crawl.....and for that I hate her. (Joking! I kid because I love!)

Lachie, a little birdie told me that all your Mummy wants for Christmas is decent night sleep...



Luke and I co-ordinated our outfits, as usual.



This is Tamika doing Lindsay's (Eleanor's Mum A.K.A. 'My real Mummy') hair.



Logan clearly has his priorities right here...

And Ella and Kelly, who were off attempting to break Ella's spirit (unsuccessfully, might I add) at Sleep School.

Merry Xmas to all my friends!






Friday, December 15, 2006

Midwife with the Mostest.

My sincere apologies for my recent absence from The Wonderful World of Walter. My admin staff claim that they have been dealing with the backlog of the festive season and haven't had time (or the inclination may I add...) to process the genius that springs forth from my mind.


Anyhoo!



A couple of weeks ago Mummy and I went to the CMP Xmas picnic and met some lovely woman called Young Oak who maintained she had known me all my life. I didn't think much of it at the time, but then she left me a comment here on the blog, so I asked those parents of mine what the story was.
Young Oak apparently was the lady who looked after Mummy when she was pregnant with me. So all that interutero prodding and poking, all that wiggling of my poor head to see if it was engaged - all her! Mummy says that Young Oak was a veritable angel, who swept down upon our family thanks to a wonderful primary care midwifery program we have here in the land of three wheeler prams. The CMP espouses natural childbirth with minimal intervention and an early discharge program. This naturally appealed to Mummy, who at that time was determined to be the crunchiest hippy mum on the block (amazing how she's given up on that whole idea now!)
The reality of my entrance into the world was a little different..... The week before my ETA it became obvious I was on my way- I mean when Auntie Josie and Uncle Denis both rang to find Mummy washing the windows, they knew something was up. By 1.30 am the next morning Mummy was in very early labour. However after nearly two days of labour, Mummy wasn't getting anywhere and I wasn't any closer to getting the hell out of there. Mummy was exhausted, Daddy was exhausted, Nellie was a nervous wreck, Auntie Josie had visions of Mummy having a C section because I was taking so long and Mum's boss Neralie had the shits because Mummy wasn't answering her calls or emails. Once we did manage to get things going and arrived at the hospital, Mummy demanded to be taken upstairs to the Delivery Suite to get 'the good stuff'.
Once Mummy finally got her narcotics, sorry epidural (you should hear her version of how grateful she was to the anesthesiologist!) she was a much happier camper.
Eventually I made my appearance into this world, cradled by a pair of salad tongs straight into the waiting arms of my beautiful Mummy. The whole experience was, in hindsight pretty traumatic. Mummy was however, proud of herself for asking for intervention when it was needed (after her inital fear that Young Oak would be disappointed with her for not managing to have the waterbirth that they'd planned.) Daddy still says that Mummy vomiting on him during transition was the worst part (too much gas.... Mum got carried away with the nitrous oxide - it reminded her of a particularly debaucherous afternoon on the floor of the bathroom of the flat in Oxford St with Auntie Laurinda.)


Mummy and Daddy still say it was the most amazing experience of their lives, made so much better by the support of a great midwife. Daddy misses his freedom, and Mummy misses her pelvic floor muscles but they wouldn't have it any other way.


So thank you Young Oak, thank you.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Sorry



Sooooo lazy....


Will post about something soon -


Promise!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Bad Parents in Contemporary Culture.....Part Deux.







Okay, I think that we have established that my grown ups, Andrew and Anthea, being novices and all, are not very good at this parenting game. In addition to taking me to a den of iniquity last weekend they have also:







  • Sent me to daycare with questionable nappy emissions.



  • Failed to heed such warning signs as pulling on my ears and crying when I lay down.



  • When Mummy did finally take me to the doctors, it turns out that I have a middle ear infection and gastro. And then she and Dr Sharma spent most of the consultation researching Mummy's and Auntie Kate's question du jour - 'Where do your ovaries go when you're pregnant?'



  • Then to top off this list of heinous crimes, they tried to take me to a portrait sitting this morning. Said portrait sitting was a no go and had to be rescheduled as I spent the whole time crying. When we got home Mummy finally deemed to take my temperature - 39.2 degrees......To quote the great Spike Milligan 'I told you I was ill'!



This shabby treatment surely deserves retribution. What do you think I should do?