A scenic tour of our new house

Hi, it's me, Gary.......

Due to the fact that no one else has gotten off their behinds to show you around our new pad, I've taken it upon myself to do the honors......

Dear Mister X

Dear Cousin Michael,
You have to cut and paste the html code from the MyBlogLog website and put it into the setting section of the blog. I was actually thinking of taking it down, because apart from you and Aunty Boezo, it just seems to attract spam.
Love Cousin Walter.

Yes, I am still alive!

Okay, I know this is becoming a bit of a theme, but I am terribly sorry about my laziness on the communications front! This five day a week business really takes it out of a boy......

Daycare have refused to install high-speed broadband in the nursery, so I just don't get the time or the computer access that I used to get (What is the point of having a Mummy in management if she can't pull some strings for me, I ask you that?)

We're all getting ready to move here. Mummy has been manically wrapping things in newspaper and throwing them in crates (defeats the purpose a bit there Mum). Daddy is, naturally taking things a little easier - he does after all have the next two weeks off work to catalogue his Star Trek videos. Speaking of which, the Foxtel people claim they can't connect pay TV to the new house until August and both Mummy and Daddy are wandering around, anticipating the withdrawal symptoms, muttering 'No lifestyle channel, oh my' and 'No sci-fi channel, oh my'........ah, the pleasure of watching my TV addicted parents suffer..... maybe now you can do more important things, like spend time with your only begotten son.

We went to meet the new neighbours last weekend..... there was lots of kids, including a four month old baby next door, so I'll always have homes to go to when the neglect gets too much.

Other than that, Madame Neglecto and I have made it to Mum's group quite a bit lately, but I have to admit, I'm a bit shy with everyone to begin with after such a long absence.

I'm not sure what else I know..... It's way past my bedtime and I'm getting kind of incoherent......

Love Wal

XOXO

Dear Aunty Becca,

Are you sure that this was the first time your tatas have appeared on the internet?
P.S. Mummy and Daddy are quite convinced that I look like Uncle Denis in that cardigan, that hat and pulling that face.....

My new favourite person.

As you may know, Mum and Dad's friends Pat and Cass are back in the country. Aunty Cass is fast becoming my new-best-grown-up....and the following correspondence demonstrates why:

Dear Aunty Cass,
How are you this week? I was just wondering if you still wanted to come and play with me this weekend? Mummy and Daddy have been quite beastly to me this week. They cut my nails, made me get out of the bath, made me eat vegetables......Oh the list goes on. I really think I need to spend some time with someone who will take care of me properly.
Love your favourite child at risk,
Walter.

Dear Walter,
Of course I am coming to play this weekend.
I am shocked and appalled by the abusive behaviour that your parents have subjected you to, and so I must make the effort to reinforce to you that not all grown-ups are mean and nasty. I was thinking that on Sunday we might play with loud toys in the bath, whilst farting out all the toxins caused by those nasty vegetables.
I will try to visit on Saturday too, but may need to have a little sleep-in on Saturday morning to prepare myself for the big day on Sunday with you.
I will ring your Mother and make sure that she isn’t doing any scary or horrible things to you this weekend, like getting your haircut or giving you injections. And don’t worry; your disclosure of her and your Daddy’s behaviour is safe with me. I will secretly undermine all their rules by feeding you chocolate cake while you swing around on the clothesline so that you can learn that life with me is heaps of fun, and your parents are boring old farts.
Lotsa big squelchy kisses and love from your Aunty Cass X

Edited by Mummy to say: You are so getting a haircut, boy.....

Update

I apologise for my silence of late, as most of you know I just don't get the time at the computer any more. So what have I been up to?

• I am now officially walking. I really can't get away with taking a few steps, then falling to my knees and crawling the rest of the way....damn it!


• I've had another bout of Bronchiolitis, but thankfully my neglectful parents haven't packed me off to the hospital this time.


• Mummy keeps muttering 'Gotta pack up the house....gotta pack up the house' and Daddy is sitting in a corner rocking back and forth chanting 'Can't throw it away.....can't throw it away'.


• Mum and I actually made it to Mum's group this week after a six week work enforced absence. I had forgotten who everyone was, until Eleanor started bashing me up for eating her banana.....then it all came flooding back...in glorious technicolor!


• We also got to see baby Abby yesterday, who was this little creature? Why does she look so much like Unkie Pat's brother John? And why was my Mummy cuddling her and getting all gushy?

Stay tuned for all these answers and more......

Suburbia....here I come!

Not content with just sitting back and watching in awe how amazing their only begotten son is, Mummy and Daddy have been busy.... very busy.

They are now the proud owners of a mortgage,

a big fat hungry mortgage!

I can't wait to fall over on the polished floorboards, tangle myself up in the chi chi window treatments, and put inappropriate items in the dishwasher. There's a reserve at the back for me to run away in, a quiet cul de sac to learn to fall off my bike in and several very busy roads to play on when Mummy and Daddy are angry with me.

One of my friends from daycare actually lives there at the moment, so she's been filling me in on all the best places to hide your Vegemite toast and the most dangerous things to climb on. We don't move in until July, so my parents have oodles of time to jettison the clutter they've collected over the last 8 years (yeah right.... says Mummy!)

Baby Boom

Introducing the next in a long line of babies recently coming into my world...

Violet Margery Motion.

Daughter of Laurinda and Derek.

Baby sister of Caleb and Issac.





Also welcome to Abby Jane Shea, of whom I do not have a photo.

Daughter of Janet and John

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mummy,

Wishing you a happy mother's day......Well done old gel'.

(Just don't think you're getting any special treatment today though...)

Love Walter.

They're up to something....

Dear Luke, Tamika, Logan, Lachlan, Eleanor and Ella,

Did you guys realise that our Mummies went out last night.... without us?

How dare they abandon us like this!

Poor Lachlan was awake the whole night, wracked with worry about what his mother was up to.

Not impressed, Mummies, not impressed.

Imogen Frances

This is the newest member of The International League of Infant Anarchists and my new cousin,

Imogen Frances.

Welcome to the family, and my condolences to Clancy, who must now share her parent's love forever more.

A leave of absence.

"Walter, what's going on? You haven't been posting lately...."
Oh if I had a dollar for every person who has asked me that lately, I'd have a pile of brand new, glow in the dark dummies that nearly reached the ceiling!
I'm sorry everyone, Mummy, Daddy and I have been horrifically busy. Daddy's work has been a nightmare, Mummy's work has been a nightmare and given that they now abandon me at day care as much as Family Services will let them, I haven't had a chance to talk to you all. Do you think that day care would get high speed broadband installed in the nursery for me?
Apart from my ridiculously long days of incarceration, I've been going to people's houses for dinner and lunches (Thank you Maree and Peter [there you go, I mentioned you Peter!] and Ian and Kim), I've been taking a few steps here and there and I got my first comment on the blog from a stranger (well, someone whose blog Mummy reads).

1000

My apologies to my adoring public for the tardiness of this post.

We passed a major milestone this week, our 1000th visitor to The Wonderful World of Walter (give or take a few hundred...)

Thank you all so much for feeding my ego.

XOXOXOXOX

They have returned!

Guess who turned up on our doorstep last night?
None other than the famous Pat and Cass!!!!!!!
Appartently they had a few visa 'issues' and needed to come home ASAP.
YAY!!!!!!!
They are now tucked up in bed in our spare room, but Mummy said that 5.55am is not an okay time to go and hop into bed with two jet lagged people.....Awwwww......

See, I'm not the only one!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/60623?utm_source=slate_rss_1

Virus Update

Chest: Still wheezy

Cough: Lessening

Bowels: A1 Condition

Temperament: Cheeky

Position: Back at Day Care yesterday.....Bugger!

Lost!

My knee fat and two of my chins.

Somewhere between the hospital and 'Gastroville'.

Reward offered.

Happy Easter

Just wishing you all a happy easter.

This is also my 100th post....I rock!

Adventures in Public Health.

Oh, have I got an adventure for you!

You may have noticed that I've been remarkably quiet here on the blogging front..... Well, I have an excuse. It's not that Mummy and I have been busy at work and childcare, but I've been in hospital.

Mid-way through last week, what the mum's from my 'posse' call my smoker's cough was getting a lot worse. On Wednesday, Mummy picked me up from childcare and the beautiful Natasha said she was a little concerned about my cough and that I had a high temperature. Mummy took me home, dosed me up on panadol and cough syrup, and sent me to bed (naturally after some gruel and a sound whipping...joking, joking....we were all out of gruel, so I had the crumbs from the bottom of the toaster.) After a shocking night's sleep, which Auntie Kathryn can attest to (she rang to bitch, sorry I mean talk with Mummy and heard me coughing and declared I wasn't sounding well) Mummy made me a doctor's appointment.The lovely Seema, our doctor took one look at me and started to go into cardiac arrest, sending me off for x-rays and ultimately to hospital.

After transversing the length and breadth of Canberra, several hours in Emergency and twelve hours since our initial appointment, I was safely tucked into a bed in the paediatrics ward, with god awful oxygen prongs up my nose, and even more offensive heart monitors attached to my toes. My blood oxygen saturation levels and my heart rate were having a hard time stabilising and frankly, I felt damn miserable.

Because Mummy and Daddy are cheap-skates and because Canberra Hospital is a teaching facility, we saw marauding hordes of interns, residents and registrars, all of whom had different opinions on what was wrong with me:

Oh, it's pneumonia..

Oh, it's an acute viral infection..

Oh, it's early onset asthma..

ad nauseum.

Eventually, the hoards in white coats settled on bronchiolitis. Then just when I was starting to feel better, I tested positive to some virus called RSV and had to go into isolation.After my second night in hospital, Mummy was a big, fat teary mess, Daddy was sick of driving back and forth and Nellie just wanted me and Mummy to come home, they let me out. YAY! Man the sun and wind on my face as we walked to the car felt good...and scruffing my Nellie and pulling my books off the shelf and distributing them around the room feels good too.

So, I'm home, and while I will miss the perks of hospital like frequent bottles of milk (something they phased out weeks ago here), foods like flavoured yohgurt and custard and unlimited access to my dummy, I'm happy to be home. I'll let you know in a few days how the smoker's cough is going, but now I've got to hassle that dog, she's had it far too easy the last few days!

Dear concerned stakeholders,

To Nanna, all the aunties, Unkie Al and anyone else who cares,

I have a new tooth.

Damn, once again I have to think up yet another way to drive Mummy and Daddy mad....