A scenic tour of our new house

Hi, it's me, Gary.......

Due to the fact that no one else has gotten off their behinds to show you around our new pad, I've taken it upon myself to do the honors......

Dear Mister X

Dear Cousin Michael,
You have to cut and paste the html code from the MyBlogLog website and put it into the setting section of the blog. I was actually thinking of taking it down, because apart from you and Aunty Boezo, it just seems to attract spam.
Love Cousin Walter.

Yes, I am still alive!

Okay, I know this is becoming a bit of a theme, but I am terribly sorry about my laziness on the communications front! This five day a week business really takes it out of a boy......

Daycare have refused to install high-speed broadband in the nursery, so I just don't get the time or the computer access that I used to get (What is the point of having a Mummy in management if she can't pull some strings for me, I ask you that?)

We're all getting ready to move here. Mummy has been manically wrapping things in newspaper and throwing them in crates (defeats the purpose a bit there Mum). Daddy is, naturally taking things a little easier - he does after all have the next two weeks off work to catalogue his Star Trek videos. Speaking of which, the Foxtel people claim they can't connect pay TV to the new house until August and both Mummy and Daddy are wandering around, anticipating the withdrawal symptoms, muttering 'No lifestyle channel, oh my' and 'No sci-fi channel, oh my'........ah, the pleasure of watching my TV addicted parents suffer..... maybe now you can do more important things, like spend time with your only begotten son.

We went to meet the new neighbours last weekend..... there was lots of kids, including a four month old baby next door, so I'll always have homes to go to when the neglect gets too much.

Other than that, Madame Neglecto and I have made it to Mum's group quite a bit lately, but I have to admit, I'm a bit shy with everyone to begin with after such a long absence.

I'm not sure what else I know..... It's way past my bedtime and I'm getting kind of incoherent......

Love Wal

XOXO

Dear Aunty Becca,

Are you sure that this was the first time your tatas have appeared on the internet?
P.S. Mummy and Daddy are quite convinced that I look like Uncle Denis in that cardigan, that hat and pulling that face.....

My new favourite person.

As you may know, Mum and Dad's friends Pat and Cass are back in the country. Aunty Cass is fast becoming my new-best-grown-up....and the following correspondence demonstrates why:

Dear Aunty Cass,
How are you this week? I was just wondering if you still wanted to come and play with me this weekend? Mummy and Daddy have been quite beastly to me this week. They cut my nails, made me get out of the bath, made me eat vegetables......Oh the list goes on. I really think I need to spend some time with someone who will take care of me properly.
Love your favourite child at risk,
Walter.

Dear Walter,
Of course I am coming to play this weekend.
I am shocked and appalled by the abusive behaviour that your parents have subjected you to, and so I must make the effort to reinforce to you that not all grown-ups are mean and nasty. I was thinking that on Sunday we might play with loud toys in the bath, whilst farting out all the toxins caused by those nasty vegetables.
I will try to visit on Saturday too, but may need to have a little sleep-in on Saturday morning to prepare myself for the big day on Sunday with you.
I will ring your Mother and make sure that she isn’t doing any scary or horrible things to you this weekend, like getting your haircut or giving you injections. And don’t worry; your disclosure of her and your Daddy’s behaviour is safe with me. I will secretly undermine all their rules by feeding you chocolate cake while you swing around on the clothesline so that you can learn that life with me is heaps of fun, and your parents are boring old farts.
Lotsa big squelchy kisses and love from your Aunty Cass X

Edited by Mummy to say: You are so getting a haircut, boy.....

Update

I apologise for my silence of late, as most of you know I just don't get the time at the computer any more. So what have I been up to?

• I am now officially walking. I really can't get away with taking a few steps, then falling to my knees and crawling the rest of the way....damn it!


• I've had another bout of Bronchiolitis, but thankfully my neglectful parents haven't packed me off to the hospital this time.


• Mummy keeps muttering 'Gotta pack up the house....gotta pack up the house' and Daddy is sitting in a corner rocking back and forth chanting 'Can't throw it away.....can't throw it away'.


• Mum and I actually made it to Mum's group this week after a six week work enforced absence. I had forgotten who everyone was, until Eleanor started bashing me up for eating her banana.....then it all came flooding back...in glorious technicolor!


• We also got to see baby Abby yesterday, who was this little creature? Why does she look so much like Unkie Pat's brother John? And why was my Mummy cuddling her and getting all gushy?

Stay tuned for all these answers and more......

Suburbia....here I come!

Not content with just sitting back and watching in awe how amazing their only begotten son is, Mummy and Daddy have been busy.... very busy.

They are now the proud owners of a mortgage,

a big fat hungry mortgage!

I can't wait to fall over on the polished floorboards, tangle myself up in the chi chi window treatments, and put inappropriate items in the dishwasher. There's a reserve at the back for me to run away in, a quiet cul de sac to learn to fall off my bike in and several very busy roads to play on when Mummy and Daddy are angry with me.

One of my friends from daycare actually lives there at the moment, so she's been filling me in on all the best places to hide your Vegemite toast and the most dangerous things to climb on. We don't move in until July, so my parents have oodles of time to jettison the clutter they've collected over the last 8 years (yeah right.... says Mummy!)